Shopping

I'm not gonna lie, the past nine months have ushered in the most excruciating pain upon our family we've ever experienced.

Grief.  Wave upon wave.  Catching our breath was a challenge.

We fought hard to not allow the waves to pull us under, drowning us, snuffing out any spark of joy or hope.

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,

And He who formed you, O Israel:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.

For I am the LORD your God,

The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Isaiah 43:1-3(b)

It wasn't the first time, and I know it won't be the last, that I've clung to the above passage in scripture.  When our feelings are in agony and our perspective is self-focused, the very best exercise for our spiritual muscles and our well being is to meditate on the truth of His Word.  Chew on it night and day.  Declare it all through the house.  Eat it.  Drink it.  Pray it.  Speak it aloud.

When everything in us wants to shout - It hurts!  It's too much, Lord!  It's not fair!  Why me?!  Enough already!

The only antidote for our pain, is the Word of God.  It comforts, encourages and carries us through the storms of life.

That passage in Isaiah carried me all the way TO Harrisburg and it most recently carried me to a place of peace as to the WHY we are in Harrisburg.

Church planters with no church now, we have found ourselves engaged in the difficult task of church shopping.  This task was so far from our radar that I seriously couldn't believe we were having to do this.

Trying to find a church to sit under another's preaching and grow and connect was beyond Shawn's realm of comprehension.  He deferred it to me and the boys.  I knew he'd chime in if we were about to pick a house of heretics so I figured I was up for the challenge.  Spiritual fellowship is a place of distant memory for us.  We've been craving it for so long, we don't remember what it tastes like.

God is merciful.  I believe we have found our home.  For now.  However, I believe with all my heart that Shawn Shay is still very much called to preach.  We wait.  We trust.  We give our heart's desires to the Lord.  We know that what the enemy plots for evil toward us and the flawed plans of man, cannot keep the perfect will of God from our lives.  We will trust Him to complete the good work He has begun in us.  He will be faithful to bring glory to Himself through our trials as we learn and glean and grow more like Him through our deep suffering.  We will be still and KNOW that He is God.

But in the meantime, I pray for healing to begin.  I pray for the truth of His love to cover us with a healing balm.  His faithfulness to us over the past nine months has been mind boggling.  From financial provision, that seems to fall out of the sky, to sustaining us through my grief and loss.

He is good.  He is faithful. He is loving. He is with us in the storms. He is good.  All the time.  And all the time, He is good.