You will keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God, is everlasting strength.
Isaiah 26:3-4
Well, it's official. We have a contract on the house. It's been a long, long process. But I'm realizing that's because we measure it according to our time table, not the Lord's. I wish I had the energy and time to pen all the changes and growth and struggles we, as a family, have faced in this church plant process. Growing and following Jesus is surely no easy task. However, to be considered worthy of such pruning and cutting by our precious Lord is an honor. Oh and speaking of pruning - oh man! I've always known that I'm a selfish girl, but I have been quite disgusted and appalled at the utter filth and stench of my own heart. It's true what the prophet, Jeremiah says, "The heart is desperately (deceitfully) wicked; Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind," 17:9-10b
whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God, is everlasting strength.
Isaiah 26:3-4
Well, it's official. We have a contract on the house. It's been a long, long process. But I'm realizing that's because we measure it according to our time table, not the Lord's. I wish I had the energy and time to pen all the changes and growth and struggles we, as a family, have faced in this church plant process. Growing and following Jesus is surely no easy task. However, to be considered worthy of such pruning and cutting by our precious Lord is an honor. Oh and speaking of pruning - oh man! I've always known that I'm a selfish girl, but I have been quite disgusted and appalled at the utter filth and stench of my own heart. It's true what the prophet, Jeremiah says, "The heart is desperately (deceitfully) wicked; Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind," 17:9-10b
gulp.
He has certainly been exposing the wickedness of my sinful and rebellious heart, as I've cried out to Him to change me, mold me and make me more like Him. He has been faithful to hear and answer those prayers. In the book of Ezekiel the Lord says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them."
Although I've fought and resisted, kicked and screamed, moaned and groaned throughout this process, I can stop and look back to where I was two years ago and see growth. And, for that I'm humbled and extremely grateful to be loved by such a caring and patient God. Albeit, I still have a ways to go and I am quite certain that I will not see the finished product until I'm in glory bowing at my Savior's feet, I'm content in the fact that I am, indeed, growing. I'm trusting that He will be faithful to complete the work that He began in me should Jesus continue to tarry.
So each day I begin with asking Him to show me the way in which I should walk. Giving Him all my emotions and feelings in the process. Asking Him to heal the hurt and pain of separating from those people and things here in NC that I've grown to love so deeply. Begging Him for a heart that breaks for what breaks His. Reciting His promises from His Word back to Him, believing that every word is true and good. There are some days, well, honestly, most every day of late, I have to ask Him to do this hourly. In fact, I've come to silently sing the old hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour".
When we began this journey in March of 2010, we never dreamed it would take so long to get to PA. At times, I'll be perfectly honest, I had hoped it would just all go away. The whole idea. But it hasn't. God continues to faithfully lead us to plant a church in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. I realize that He is patiently working on each of us individually and collectively as a family. He is in the process. He wants us to seek Him throughout the process. To know more of Him. To become more like Him. I must trust Him with my feelings, my emotions, my fears. In addition, I must trust Him with my boys and all that they are feeling and experiencing in this process. He. loves. them. more. than. I. ever. could.
I take such comfort in knowing that and believing that His plan for them is important to Him
and He will be in their transition as well.
I cannot say enough wonderful things about Shawn throughout this whole journey. He has been so patient and understanding of me and all my struggles. Calling me out when need be, giving a sympathetic and understanding ear when I'll receive it, but all the while continuing to believe in the call the Lord has placed on his heart and moving forward in that direction even when it's been so very difficult.
With all of that said, here's where we are at thus far.
Please keep in mind there are many, many unknowns and questions we cannot answer at this point. We dare not assume anything except for that we are called to Harrisburg and somehow the Lord will get us there in His perfect timing. I will do my best to answer some of the many questions we receive in an effort to keep you all informed. We are in the inspection stage of the sale of our home at this point. Still negotiating what will and will not be fixed prior to sale. The settlement date has been selected for Friday, October 28th. Shawn continues to search for employment in Harrisburg, which is somewhat tricky to do from here. However, he has and will continue to make trips up north to interview in an attempt to secure employment. Please be praying along these lines as he works out the logistics of travel but yet being here for our family as we prepare to say goodbye to loved ones here.
Also, we still need to find housing in Harrisburg. Again, a tricky task from NC. We are looking online and Shawn also is working diligently to make calls and trips to meet with prospective landlords and view properties in Harrisburg. If you could be praying for the Lord to make it very clear to Shawn and I as we seek His guidance for employment and housing, we would be grateful. Our desire would be to move from NC to Harrisburg without the need for temporary housing here. The sooner we get up there and join the Morrisons, get acclimated to the area and enroll our boys in school, the better.
Please be sensitive to our family as we continue to process feelings and emotions regarding our impending move. Our boys are old enough to feel the sting of the loss of friendships here and all that is familiar. They know why we are going and are excited about the possibility of all things news and the adventure of a journey with Jesus, but they are grieving, in particular, Joseph, who is 11 years old and in the 5th grade. With all the unknowns, twists and turns, and open doors that we have experienced through out this journey, we are a little raw and exposed from all the jostling.
God has kept His hand on us through the turmoil and unknowns. I can look back and see that now. All the way, leading and tenderly guiding us. Recently, we took a vote in our family, with Shawn asking each of us if we were willing to go, willing to serve Him, willing to follow blindly. Everyone, woman and boys, said, "yes". So we continue to wait upon the Lord for His direction, guidance and provision. He has equipped us and we are trusting in Him to continue to show us the way in which we are to walk. He will. He loves. I have to keep reminding myself, this was His idea. He has a plan. He will reveal it a little at a time. He's in control. I can trust in Him. He loves me. He loves Shawn. He loves Joseph, Elijah and Titus too.
He's got us. Whew. I am so thankful because it is all too big for me.
Cause me to hear your lovingkindness in the morning,
for in You I do trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
for I lift up my soul to You.
Psalm 143:8
I take such comfort in knowing that and believing that His plan for them is important to Him
and He will be in their transition as well.
I cannot say enough wonderful things about Shawn throughout this whole journey. He has been so patient and understanding of me and all my struggles. Calling me out when need be, giving a sympathetic and understanding ear when I'll receive it, but all the while continuing to believe in the call the Lord has placed on his heart and moving forward in that direction even when it's been so very difficult.
With all of that said, here's where we are at thus far.
Please keep in mind there are many, many unknowns and questions we cannot answer at this point. We dare not assume anything except for that we are called to Harrisburg and somehow the Lord will get us there in His perfect timing. I will do my best to answer some of the many questions we receive in an effort to keep you all informed. We are in the inspection stage of the sale of our home at this point. Still negotiating what will and will not be fixed prior to sale. The settlement date has been selected for Friday, October 28th. Shawn continues to search for employment in Harrisburg, which is somewhat tricky to do from here. However, he has and will continue to make trips up north to interview in an attempt to secure employment. Please be praying along these lines as he works out the logistics of travel but yet being here for our family as we prepare to say goodbye to loved ones here.
Also, we still need to find housing in Harrisburg. Again, a tricky task from NC. We are looking online and Shawn also is working diligently to make calls and trips to meet with prospective landlords and view properties in Harrisburg. If you could be praying for the Lord to make it very clear to Shawn and I as we seek His guidance for employment and housing, we would be grateful. Our desire would be to move from NC to Harrisburg without the need for temporary housing here. The sooner we get up there and join the Morrisons, get acclimated to the area and enroll our boys in school, the better.
Please be sensitive to our family as we continue to process feelings and emotions regarding our impending move. Our boys are old enough to feel the sting of the loss of friendships here and all that is familiar. They know why we are going and are excited about the possibility of all things news and the adventure of a journey with Jesus, but they are grieving, in particular, Joseph, who is 11 years old and in the 5th grade. With all the unknowns, twists and turns, and open doors that we have experienced through out this journey, we are a little raw and exposed from all the jostling.
God has kept His hand on us through the turmoil and unknowns. I can look back and see that now. All the way, leading and tenderly guiding us. Recently, we took a vote in our family, with Shawn asking each of us if we were willing to go, willing to serve Him, willing to follow blindly. Everyone, woman and boys, said, "yes". So we continue to wait upon the Lord for His direction, guidance and provision. He has equipped us and we are trusting in Him to continue to show us the way in which we are to walk. He will. He loves. I have to keep reminding myself, this was His idea. He has a plan. He will reveal it a little at a time. He's in control. I can trust in Him. He loves me. He loves Shawn. He loves Joseph, Elijah and Titus too.
He's got us. Whew. I am so thankful because it is all too big for me.
Cause me to hear your lovingkindness in the morning,
for in You I do trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
for I lift up my soul to You.
Psalm 143:8
5 comments:
Congratulations. I'm humbled by your honesty. Let me know if I can help in any way.
Lisa Bailey
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21 NIV). Love this verse! Such a comfort to know the Holy Spirit is guiding our every step. Praying for you and your family that through this process you will each be changed. And I know because you love Him ...And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 NIV)
What a beautiful, honest post...I love you friend. We are continuing to pray for your precious family.
Lisa, thank you for your transparency, your honesty, your willingness to put it all out there and say hey, life isn't easy. Because it isn't. Every one of us has struggles and it's time to start sharing, encouraging, loving, giving grace showing mercy and urging each other to pursue Christ. You, are an inspiration and I love you!
I'm just a phone call away.
As always, Lisa, your transparency and graciousness are refreshing and convicting testaments to the Lord's' work in your life! Tell Joseph "hi" for me- I will be praying specifically for him!
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